Wisdom from a 92 year old widow...
I finally got through to my grandma’s room at the Senior Personal Care Home where she lives. “Oh hello, sweetheart!” She said kindly as she picked up the phone. Her 92 year old wobbly voice sounded extra strong today. We chatted for several minutes about how crazy this Coronavirus experience has been. Canada had “closed” just shortly after the U.S. did, so we were both feeling the weight of it all. My grandmother has been a widow for 3 years now, and being alone still doesn’t feel normal to her - especially after 75 years of being married to her best friend. After a stroke last year, she is “home bound” at her Care Facility, so she relies heavily on those who come to visit her. A luxury that has been taken away since the order to “shelter in place.”
“So grandma, do they let you leave your room during quarantine?”
“Oh yes,” she said, “We can roam throughout our floor. So I get up every morning and I immediately ask to be wheeled to this one open room with giant windows. Because at a certain time each morning, the sun shines in those windows. Every day, I just find the sun and I go to it. I sit in it. And it’s just so lovely. I always go to the sun.”
Hours after that phone call ended, I was still mulling over her words. “I find the sun and I go to it. I always go to the sun.”
I thought back over the past month of “sheltering in place” with my family. When were the moments we have “gone to the sun?” The sun brings warmth. And healing. It brings refreshment. And hope. The sun brings rest. And life. It shines light where there has been darkness and offers perspective.
There was this one day when Morgan (my 8 year old) was a disaster. She was whining and crying easily and just pushing everyone’s buttons. I quietly walked over to the speaker and put on worship music. Morgan instantly settled down. Her whole demeanor changed. She picked up a book and laid down on the couch with a big cozy blanket. My husband and I exchanged a look of, “Woah. Night and day.” She just needed peace-filled music to center her. You see, we took Morgan to the sun.
There was another day where our family was just out of sorts. We had been a little too loose on “life” and things felt chaotic. So we told everyone to meet in the family room in 5 minutes with their Bibles. I told the 7 and 8 year old, “Bring a Children’s Bible you can read to yourself.” (Mommy loves you, but holy moly I can’t read one more book to you today…) We sat together in silence and just read our Bibles for 25 minutes. It was like a giant exhale. We settled in and felt more grounded. We definitely went to the sun that day.
We have intentionally sought out the sun every week, as we pile on the couch and watch “Some Good News” with John Krasinski. If you haven’t been tuning into that on YouTube, it’s an EASY way for you to sit in the sun, friends.
The long family walks we have taken? Definitely sought out the sun. Cooking together as a family? Baking together? Dance parties? Moments in the sun. Forts? Oh dear Lord, if my children use one more sheet, towel, or rearranges the furniture again…. it’s going to be a full lightning storm in here. Definitely not the sun for me. ;) The opportunities to go to the sun are all around us. Yet we still find ourselves more often than not, stuck. Bored, depressed, frustrated, overwhelmed. We need the sun. We need to find what “the sun” is for us, and go to it. Almost like a discipline. We need its fuel. We understand we can’t live in the sun nonstop, obviously. But that’s why my grandma gets up early every morning. The sun is only there for a short bit. But those moments in the sun fuel her for the rest of her day. They sustain her through the loneliness and the isolation.
What is “the sun” for you? What gives you life? How can you lean into those moments? Or incorporate them into your daily rhythms? Reading… Playing games.. Journaling… Worship music… Scripture reading… Naps… Phone call with a friend… Gratitude journal…
Schedule it. Or be spontaneous with it when you feel the need. Call it self care. Call it soul care. Call it “grandma time in the sun.” ;) But categorize it under a “need,” not a “want.” This intense season we are in leaves lots of space for living in holes. The darkness can cave in around us so quickly, without us even realizing it; completely missing the sun that DOES exist - even now. How do I know it exists? A “faith hero” of mine, Jill Briscoe, reminded me this week of a profound truth:
Psalm 23 says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”
Many of us feel like we are walking through that very thing. There is death all around us. Physically, but also symbolically. So. Much. Loss. So much to grieve. But did you catch the wording of the Psalmist? Yes, he says we “walk through” it - which is a reminder that this darkness WILL NOT last forever. (Amen and amen.) But, what I find to be even more profound? It says, “...through the valley of the shadow of death.” The SHADOW! Friends, where there are shadows, there is LIGHT. Shadows cannot exist without the presence of light! Oh how GOOD our Creator is. He wants to gift us moments of light - in the sun - even now. Scripture tells us that “Every good and perfect gift comes from above.” So your moments in the sun - moments of healing and refreshment - are a direct gift from a God who knows you and loves you. You are seen, known, thought of. You were created with intention - with a way to re-fuel and find rest. He gives us good, good gifts, even now. It’s up to us to partake though. The sun is never forced on us. But it’s always available, and always there.
So friends, I invite you to join me. When this quarantine life feels heavy, consider the example of a 92 year grandmother from Canada. A precious widow who looks for the sun and goes to it. Every day. Let her remind you. Let her point you to the warm rays.. Get there with her. Go to it. And soak in all that The Giver has for you in the goodness of the light.
